In Dreams We Also Die

Last week a boy said to me before class,
“I had a dream about you the other night. We died in a car accident together.”
I drove with him once, in real life, the night he told me he hated being alive
and I wanted nothing more than to kiss the sentence off his lips.
One hand on the steering wheel like an itch – the night he could’ve run us off the road
but didn’t.

In dreams we look for picnic blankets and cherry blossoms
and instead I brought you blood, a shattered windshield,
a bouquet of broken bones.
Like the pen that drains its ink in the middle of a thought
I am always running out of fuel and
I’m sorry I couldn’t get you someplace better.

I’m sorry we had to lay the blanket down here.
I’m sorry about the lack of cherry blossoms.

In reality I haven’t talked to that boy in weeks
but our dream selves are lying dead somewhere
hand-in-hand, staring sightless at the sky
and I will carry the weight of it with me always.

But anyway, it was just a dream.
Silly me. Silly us.

I told you once in a dream that I loved you.
You licked your thumb thoughtfully, flipped
through the pages of your dream oracle and mumbled
“Interesting. I wonder what that means.


44 thoughts on “In Dreams We Also Die

  1. Oh wow Natalie, this writing is at a whole new level of hauntingly real humanity, intermingling life and dreams.
    Reading this leaves me wondering why my own dreams mostly seem to be terrifying and uncomfortable. Perhaps that is how real life is to me.

    1. Real life is most certainly terrifying and uncomfortable! Dreams can only ever reflect reality, after all. Do we wake into dreams, or do we wake out of them? One can never be too sure.

      Thank you for this. You always look at my work with such a keen eye, and I deeply appreciate it.

  2. How interesting that we all have relationships on two levels like this, no? The dream and the “real.” And we poets live and thrive and know not how to exist except upon the cusp.

    A great essay in Poetry a few months ago….on color in poetry, but it hits upon so many things about the art…

    “That all poems are the space between the real and the dream worlds, the platform between the living and the dead.”

    –Barbara Lasky

    1. It’s very interesting. So interesting it makes my head spin.

      Just last night I had a dream a plane crashed in my neighborhood and I was the only person who saw it. I kept screaming and no one would listen. I woke up completely unhinged, wondering if I was waking into reality or out of it.

      I’ll have to think more about this 🙂 Thanks for the brain food.

          1. Thanks for the reply,
            Why is it so? Just curious not much. Haha . I think you should. Ok but totally depends. I ‘m just a newbie, so just trying to increase my readers.

            1. I’m really busy with school during this time of year so it’s hard to write poetry every day. I have two research papers I’m working on currently, which is also a factor. I write a lot more during the summer months.

              Thanks for asking!

  3. Wow! I love how at the end of the poem, he’s all like: blasé, totally unrecognizing the emotion presented in the earlier stanzas. Or that’s what happened when I read it, anyway. His reaction makes those emotions more real for me.

  4. You have serious talent. It’s amazing that so much depth can be felt in just a few lines. Words are so powerful, keep on using your power for good! 🙂

    Also, your username makes me happy.

Thoughts? I love those.

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